


Cry Me A River

by tattooeddevil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 11:28:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/tattooeddevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Sam's shock when his big brother suddenly clings to him and cries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry Me A River

"My bed's wet, we need to share."

Sam looks up at Dean's - completely random - announcement, but Dean's not looking at him. He's got his back turned to Sam, rooting through the sheets on his bed for only-Dean-knows-what. Sam not sure what to say, but he's so dead tired he can't think about it too deeply. So he just scoots over in his own bed and opens the cover.

"Okay."

Without acknowledging Sam or even looking at him, Dean shuffles over and climbs in the bed with Sam. It's a tight fit, but it works; about three inches of space between them. It almost feels like when they were kids and had to share a bed, only then they had a slightly more logic reason.

Sam feels Dean shift a little and waits for his breath to even out in the tell-tale sign Dean's asleep. Sam's way past sleep now, too curious and confused as to what is going on, but he has always been able to sleep when Dean does. Something about knowing it's okay if Dean deems it safe enough to sleep. It doesn't happen though. Dean lays too still, too stiff to be asleep.

"Dean? What's up?"

While he's not really expecting a answer to it, he really doesn't expect his brother to rill over and plaster himself against Sam's side. Dean buries his face in Sam's neck, wraps his arm around Sam's torso and wrestles one leg over and under one of Sam's. He's halfway on top of Sam, laying perfectly still.

Sam chuckles and pats Dean's back awkwardly with the hand that's not trapped under Dean.

"Okay then. This isn't weird at all. Dean?"

Dean doesn't respond. At all. It's as if he hasn't heard Sam. Not a single muscle in his body moves. Sam doesn't even feel Dean's breath on his neck. It eerie. Sam laughs nervously, a little more on edge now.

"Okay Dean, come on, joke's over."

Only then it suddenly isn't funny anymore. Hot wetness falls on his neck and drips down to his shoulder. Dean draws in a shaky breath and exhales against Sam's neck equally shivery. Sam can feel a very slight tremor going through Dean; it's as if all his muscles suddenly start vibrating. Dean's arm around Sam tightens minutely, but it's enough to worry Sam. This just went from eerie to downright scary.

He brings up his free hand again and starts rubbing Dean's back softly. He's not sure if Dean will welcome the touch, but he's not responding to it at all. Not in the way Sam hoped he would either. Dean's still vibrating, hot tears still wetting Sam's neck.

"Dean? Come on, talk to me."

Sam's afraid to raise his voice over a whisper, afraid it might make Dean retreat into himself even more. It is unnerving to see his big, unruffled brother like this. It's even more nerve wracking not knowing what caused it and how to help Dean. He tries stroking a hand through Dean's hair, but all it does is make Dena burrow into Sam even more; no words, nothing.

Sam wrestles his other hand from under Dean and wraps it around Dean too, pulling him closer to Sam. Dean's clutching at him now, the vibrations steadily turning into shakes. It starts in Dean's arms and progresses to the rest of his body within minutes. He can feel Dean's breath hitching in his chest; Dean desperately trying to keep himself together.

This is so unlike Dean, Sam is at a total loss as to what to do. Dean hardly ever cries; only when he broke and told Sam about Hell. And when he loses someone close to him. Oh shit. The light bulb is bright and it breaks Sam’s heart into a million little pieces. He hugs Dean close to him and presses his face against his neck.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m so sorry.”

The words seem to break through Dean’s unresponsive state; Sam can feel him take deeper breaths and the shaking seems to subside a little. But then the sobs start, and Sam can’t help but shed a few tears himself. For Dean. For broken, shattered Dean. The sobs wrack through Dean’s body, torn from his throat, spilling tears down his cheeks and into Sam’s neck. Sam mumbles nonsense in Dean’s ear, but mostly just lets him cry it out.

The violent sobs die down a little after about half an hour; the wet spot in Sam’s neck spread to his pillow and the sheet beneath it. Dean loosens his grip on Sam, but stays plastered against his side. He moves his head a little so his face is now pressed against Sam’s cheek, and then he finally talks. It’s no more than a whisper, but that doesn’t matter; Sam will always hear him.

“I had him, back, Sammy. I had him back and now...”

It’s a start-stop thing, but Dean gets it out eventually. Everything Sam missed because he was too fucked up in the head to be there for his brother. Emmanuelle, Cas, the hospital, the demons. What Cas did.

“I know I have you back, and nothing is more important, but...”

Dean finally falls asleep, Cas’ name on his lips. Sam stares at the ceiling for a long time; still unable to sleep, but this time it’s not Lucifer screaming in his ear. It’s Dean.


End file.
